This is your opportunity to show everyone how you love PostSkunk more then they do

Thursday, July 29, 2010

traditional internet dateing is so 2009

(I know I know it's recycled but it's one of my fav's) is for assholes, and chances are if your on eHarmony you have at lest 2 kids and a wife that's not willing to tickle you Greek style. But the public ridicule and tranys showing up for blind dates is now, a thing of the past.

sites like
Arachnoboard's Invertsonals

are lifting the world of online dating straight up onto some next level shit. If you have a pet Tarantula and or whip-tailed scorpion your only chance at finding human companionship is internet dating anyway but also you probably have lived your life as an outcast developing a clever clinical wit that complements your pro status for scamming broads on the net into thinking your physical dimensions and finer facial features are nothing short of Bronson, Van Dam or the Rock depending on what age groups tickles your fancy and how much you no doubt love pro wrestling. But this ruse only works up until you actually have to meet that unsuspecting minx who's been daydreaming all week about the 4 hour 250 rep gym date fully jam packed with loads of musky sweat, sunless spray tans and an all carb dinner for 2. But when Big Johnson shows up minus the Johnson part (which would be you) it doesn't go play out the way the t-shirts have mislead you to believe.

So what now? I'll Fuckin Tell You What Now. You start a bug personals section on your favorite 6+ legged enthusiast forum, and pump the adds full of sexual innuendos that will make your wet dreams seem like amateur hour.

here's a few examples to pain a clearer picture for you:

I have two, maybe three females ready to go. I would rather buy outright, but would consider a breeding loan. hopefully someone out their has one.

This little go getter has probably been kicked off craigslist 3 or 4 times for the exact same add but, Fact smart pimps who know craigslist is just one big sting operation, also know that Arachnoboard code has no legal stability in court.

Looking for Mature Male Pamphobeteus antinous

Hey I have a 7" female that is about to molt any day, so i guess its about time to look for a male. willing to do standard 50/50 on slings Thanks

I'm not sure you guys could handle it if I broke this one down for yall, but use you imagination...........and it still won't be as filthy as the real thing!

FL: Lampropelma sp Borneo Black

It pains me to say my guy is finally mature. Molted today. Looking to do a loan because I would love to have more of these guys. He needs about a week to harden up before he can go. PM if interested.

break down by sentence

Middle age crisis. Finnaly went forward with the old jew snip. Might want kids some day. too much baitin not enough datein needs some time to heal.

I could go on forever with this but I think you guys get the picture.

My favorite part about this photo is I found it by typing Nerd Tarantula into google images

coincidentally this one came up too, and I found myself enchanted by the mix of this extremely hairy every place but where it counts Charles Manson/lord of the rings Wizard, ogling up some totally sweet Magic cards (and you know there the good ones cause there in the glass case) while grabbing a handful of feline belly fat.

And that's all I have to say about that



Amy said...

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!!

postskunk said...

Don't worry I'm just warming up